


The Losers Club Read Thirst Tweets

by BayleyWinchester



Series: Richie + Eddie Become Gay Icons™ (it's weird but Richie loves it) [6]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Adult Losers Club (IT), Buzzfeed, Comedian Richie Tozier, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Interviews, M/M, Richie Tozier's Stand Up Act, Stanley Uris Lives, There's no sex but they discuss it jokingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:23:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22570144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BayleyWinchester/pseuds/BayleyWinchester
Summary: Buzzfeed @buzzfeedThe Losers Club (Ben, Bev, Bill, Stan, Richie, Eddie & Mike) Read Thirst Tweets #fuckthembeesEddie K Stan @richierichierich Replying to @buzzfeedThis video is literally just the Losers talking about how hot their friends are and occasionally reading our tweets.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Audra Phillips, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Series: Richie + Eddie Become Gay Icons™ (it's weird but Richie loves it) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560019
Comments: 48
Kudos: 841





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A full losers club interview??? Yes. 
> 
> Next instalment is literally the reason I started this whole series so like ,,,

**The Losers Club Read Thirst Tweets**

_ Buzzfeed Celeb _

_ 12.9 Million Views 2.3M likes  _ | _ 9K dislikes _

_ 20,013 Comments  _

_ Richie Tozier ("Richie Tozier: Coming Clean"), Bill Denbrough (“Dark Rapids”), Beverly Marsh (MARSH fashion), Benjamin Hanscome (Winter Fire Architecture) Stanley Uris (an accountant), Mike Hanlon (a librarian) and Eddie Kaspbrak (according to Richie a Sugar Baby and according to Eddie currently unemployed risk analyst but looking) read all of your nasty and thirsty tweets. Shame on all of you. _

**Transcript**

[Ben, Bill and Bev sit on a sofa. Behind them, on stools, sit Mike, Stan, Richie and Eddie. In front of them sits a bowl on another stool full of white strips of paper]

**Bev** \- Hello, I’m Beverly Marsh. 

**Bill** \- Hey, I’m William Denbrough.

**Eddie** \- I’m Eddie Kaspbrak. 

**Richie** \- Soon to be Tozier.

**Eddie** \- We are not engaged. 

**Richie** \- But-

**Stan** \- I’m Stan Uris. 

**Richie** \- Rude, Stan. Anyway, I’m Richie Tozier! 

**Ben** \- I’m Ben Hanscome. 

**Mike** \- And I am Mike Hanlon.

**Ben** \- We’re the Losers Club! 

**Richie** \- With a capital L.

**Bev** \- Between us we have two divorces.

**Eddie** \- And those divorces have lead to two different relationships inside the group. 

**Bill** \- We also have many awards in fashion, comedy, writing, architecture, and accounting. 

**Mike** \- And have destroyed one whole house and one Chinese restaurant room. 

**Richie** \- We also have one manslaughter charge. 

**Stan** \- And one brain cell between the seven of us. 

**Offscreen** \- Right. Can you state your occupations? 

**Stan** \- Accountant. Not famous. 

**Bev** \- Fashion designer.

**Ben** \- Architect.

**Mike** \- Librarian. Not famous. 

**Bill** \- Author.

**Eddie** \- Risk analyst. Not famous. 

**Richie** \- Funny man. 

**Offscreen** \- And how do you all know each other? 

**Bill** \- We’re best friends. 

**Richie** \- I mean, to be fair, we’re kind of each other's only friends. 

[They all think about it for a moment]

**Bill** \- I guess. 

**Stan** \- Bill, Eddie, Richie and I meet in kindergarten. It stuck. 

**Bev** \- Ben, Mike and I became friends with them when we were 11. 

**Mike** \- We forget each other but we found each other again. 

**Richie** \- I married Eddie! 

**Eddie** \- No he didn’t.

**Bev** \- And Ben and I got married as well. 

**Offscreen** \- You can read the first slip of paper. 

**Bev** \- Starting off strong.  _ Any Loser could tell me to call them Daddy and I would. _ Even me?

**Richie** \- I get called Daddy all the time on Twitter. 

**Eddie** \- It’s very strange. 

**Stan** \- I’m not going to ask you to call me that. 

**Mike** \- Mike’s fine. 

**Ben** \- This one is for Beverly. Ready?

**Bev** \- Hell yeah.

**Ben** \-  _ I just want to squish my face in Beverly Marsh’s boobs. Is that too much to ask?  _

**Bill** \- It is too much. 

**Bev** \- Sorry, only Ben’s allowed there. And Eddie. 

**Richie** \- What?

**Eddie** \- What? 

**Bev** \- He’s so short and I’m wearing heels so when we hug it just happens. 

**Richie** \- He is short. 

**Eddie** \- You’re heels are tall. 

**Ben** \- Well, @firecracker45-gman is probably jealous of you, Eddie. 

**Bill** \- Okay, @rasinsandoatmeal wrote:  _ Richie Tozier may be ugly but that doesn’t mean I would pass up an opportunity to suck his member.  _

**Richie** \- Does it actually say member? 

**Bill** \- Unfortunately. 

**Richie** \- I was going to make a joke about how that account was run by Eddie but I know for a fact that Eddie would never use that word. 

**Eddie** \- I’d rather die again, to be honest. 

[Richie frowns at Eddie because of the comment]

**Stan** \- Let’s just appreciate that this person is aware that Rich is ugly. 

**Richie** \- If Eds and I fall through I’ll come looking for you. 

**Mike** \- That sounded so creepy Richie. 

**Ben** \- Yeah, maybe don’t say that.

**Bev** \- You sound like someone who is going to kill someone. 

**Richie** \- What’s a second murder charge among friends? Beverly, darling, hand me a slip of paper please. @123daisyvivi123 says that _ Mike Hanlon is the finest man I have ever seen and I stand by my point that he should do commercials so I can see him in between shows.  _

**Mike** \- Thank you? I think that’s sweet. 

**Richie** \- They probably want to jerk off to you. 

[Stan and Bill groan]

**Mike** \- Suddenly it’s not that sweet anymore.

**Stan** \- If you want Mike content, and I can’t blame you, just watch these videos. Preferably with me in seeing as I do get paid to do this.

**Bill** \- You’re not supposed to say that, Stan. 

**Stan** \- I’m not famous, I don’t know how interviews work. If they don’t like me stop asking me to do these. 

**Bev** \- Just say no. 

**Stan** \- And let Richie have free rein to say whatever he wants about me? No thanks. He already implied that I was more into birds than girls when we were younger. 

**Richie** \- That’s because you were! Bev was like naked in front of us and you were pointing out some bird to Eddie! The gay boy. 

[Eddie looks mildly offended before shrugging when Richie raises an eyebrow]

**Bev** \- Rude, I was not. 

**Stan** \- I hadn’t seen that type of bird all year! I was excited and Bev is like my sister so that’d be weird. 

**Richie** \- Wow. You’re such a nerd. 

**Stan** \- Says Mr Top of His Class. 

**Eddie** \- Mike looks like he should do soap commercials. 

[There’s a pause at Eddie’s random comment. All the Losers nod]

**Richie** \- Oh! Like that one with the guy in a towel? I’d like to see. 

**Mike** \- I’m starting to see how you felt Beverly. 

**Bev** \- Welcome.

**Bill** \- Moving on! This one is for Eddie;  _ Tozier’s boy toy looks like a cam boy. I would pay to see that, let’s be real guys. He’s hot.  _

**Eddie** \- I am not a boy toy! 

**Richie** \- That’s what we’re focusing on?

**Bill** \- You do kind of look like a cam boy, Eddie. 

**Richie** \- What the fuck Bill? Shut up. 

**Bev** \- Someone is jealous. 

**Richie** \- Obviously! 

**Stan** \- If you don’t want to be a sugar baby you can just be a cam boy. 

**Eddie** \- Fuck off, Stan. 

**Ben** \- Eddie is very pretty. 

**Mike** \- You are. 

[Eddie is blushing, Richie pinches his check]

**Eddie** \- Everyone can shut up. 

**Richie** \- Only I’m allowed to talk about how pretty Eddie is! Everyone else can shut up. 

**Eddie** \- You’re not allowed to either. Pass me a slip of paper. @toziertrash, on I know that account. Well, they say  _ Ben Hanscome, more like Ben Handsome. Please bend me over a table and make me sob.  _ Okay. 

**Ben** \- Uh. 

**Bev** \- You wish. 

**Richie** \- Everyone wishes that Ben would fuck them, Beverly. 

**Ben** \- Hmm? 

**Stan** \- I can see why. 

**Eddie** \- All the Brazilian soccer players rolled into one. 

**Richie** \- Babe! Did you remember that I said that?

**Eddie** \- Yeah. 

**Richie** \- Marry me. 

**Eddie** \- No. 

**Stan** \- Please shut up. We’re talking about Ben. 

**Ben** \- Let’s talk about someone else! 

**Bev** \- No, let’s talk about how you’re literally the hottest and nicest man there is. Rivalled only by Mike.

[All the Losers bar Mike and Ben nod]

**Ben** \- I don’t think that’s true?

**Mike** \- Thanks? 

**Bill** \- Ben is attractive and I think @toziertrash is in the right. 

**Stan** \- Yes. 

**Ben** \- You’re both married. 

**Richie** \- Well I am not, thanks Eds, and I can tell you that you are hot as fuck. Can I read the next piece? 

**Stan** \- No, it’s my turn. @denBRO writes;  _ Billiam D could give me the D any day. I may be a straight man but I would still bend over if Bill told me to.  _

**Richie** \- I think you’re gay. 

**Bill** \- I like your username. 

**Eddie** \- Talk about the content of the tweet. Bill, talk about it. 

**Bill** \- It’s descriptive. Odd. I’m thankful that my fans like me so much. 

**Bev** \- Stop being like that and give your actual opinion! 

**Richie** \- Makes him horny. 

**Bill** \- It doesn’t. 

**Stan** \- I think the username is good as well. Content is alright. 

**Mike** \- We’re just roasting the writer now. 

**Ben** \- Twitter is so strange. 

**Richie** \- I love Twitter so much. Bill’s hot, Eddie had a crush on him when we were kids, I did not. Let’s move on! 

**Eddie** \- Richie! 

[All of them turn to look at Eddie who is scowling at a grinning Richie]

**Bill** \- You did? 

**Eddie** \- When we were like nine. I didn’t even know that I was gay at the time! 

**Richie** \- Bill was your gay awakening? 

**Eddie** \- No, you were, dipshit. 

**Richie** \- What a cutie I am engaged to. 

**Eddie** \- No you’re not. 

**Bev** \- Bill is hot. Who’s next to read? Mike?

**Mike** \- Bill, you’re attractive. I’ll read. @richierocks -

**Stan** \- No he doesn’t. 

**Mike** \-  _ Stanly uris is _ -

**Stan** \- Oh no is this about me? I don’t want that! 

**Bill** \- Stop interrupting! I want to see what @richierocks thinks about you. 

**Mike** \-  _ Stanly uris is so hot thank u aphrodite you really outdid yourself with that man.  _

**Richie** \- That’s so tame! I wanted someone to talk about your dick. 

**Stan** \- Shut up Richie. 

**Richie** \- I have to do everything. 

**Eddie** \- I’m pretty sure Richie has an anonymous account where he posts about us. 

**Bev** \- I wouldn’t be surprised. Oh this one is about Richie and Eddie. @richielover says  _ seeing Richie and Eddie smiling and being together is something that can be very personal and also I want to suck their dicks.  _

**Richie** \- Seeing Eddie smiling is something that is personal.

**Eddie** \- I don’t like seeing you. Ever. 

**Stan** \- You live with him. 

**Eddie** \- Hmm, no other option. 

**Bill** \- Tell the truth, Eddie. Just like you have to tell the truth about your crush on me. 

**Eddie** \- Trust me, I like Richie way more than you. [Richie sticks his tongue out at Bill who rolls his eyes] And I like it when he’s smiling. I’ve also sucked his dick so. 

**Richie** \- I’ve sucked his as well. 

[They hi-five before start whispering to each other]

**Bev** \- There you go. 

**Mike** \- This isn’t the first time they’ve talked about this in front of us. 

**Ben** \- What are you two whispering about? 

**Eddie** \- Nothing. 

**Richie** \- Sex. 

**Eddie** \- Richie! 

**Richie** \- We were actually declaring our love for each other. It’s very fun. 

**Eddie** \- That is what we were doing. 

**Mike** \- They talk about this all the time as well. 

**Stan** \- It’s the worst. 

**Bill** \- So gross. 

**Bev** \- Makes me sick. 

**Richie** \- Wow, guess we have homophobic friends, Eds. 

**Eddie** \- Looks like it. 

**Stan** \- That’s enough, give me a slip of paper. Thanks, Bev. @trashytea wrote  _ Beverly Marsh in a suit is the reason I am a lesbian. Please, miss, let me **** **** ****. _

**Bev** \- Did you just say ‘asterisk’ 12 times? 

**Stan** \- I did. 

**Mike** \- What does it say? 

**Stan** \- Asterisk 12 times. 3 lots of 4. 

[A pause as think]

**Richie** \- Fuck mine dick. 

**Ben** \- Kiss, hugs, love. 

**Richie** \- Disgusting. I know you did that to get a rise out of me. 

**Stan** \- And it worked. 

**Bill** \- Fuck them bees. 

**Bev** \- Please, miss, let me fuck them bees? 

**Richie** \- You heard it here, Ms Hanscome is a bee fucker. Save the bees, climate change is real. 

**Bev** \- What? 

**Stan** \- You got to ignore him. Anyway, it says bite your butt. 

**Ben** \- I like mine. 

**Richie** \- Yours doesn’t even make sense! Stop trying to make me annoyed at how cute you are. 

**Bev** \- Never stop. 

**Mike** \- Duel your dogs. 

**Bev** \- I don’t have any dogs but you can duel Richie. He’s dog-like. 

**Stan** \- Very true. 

**Eddie** \- Suck your - and I’m not finishing that sentence. Fill in the blank. 

**Bill** \- Dick. 

**Richie** \- Clit. 

**Bev** \- Puss. 

**Stan** \- Nose. 

**Ben** \- Hands. 

**Eddie** \- Its toes. 

**Mike** \- I think I want to go home. 

**Stan** \- Yes, I would also like to go home to my wife who doesn’t make me have these conversations. 

**Richie** \- Trust me, we have these conversations. Patty’s the best. 

**Stan** \- Stop corrupting my wife. 

**Richie** \- No, I will not. Pass me a piece of paper, I want to read one next. 

**Stan** \- Richie is banned from seeing my wife.

**Mike** \- Like he listens to us anyway. 

**Bill** \- Well, he listens to Eddie sometimes. 

**Eddie** \- I wish he listened to me more because it’s not often. 

**Bev** \- Yeah but he listens to you more. 

**Eddie** \- Well I like seeing Patty and since Richie and I are [he uses air-quotes] ‘extremely codependent’ we go everywhere together. Therefore I can’t ban Richie from seeing your wife, Stan. Sorry. 

**Bill** \- Extremely codependent? 

**Richie** \- It’s what our therapist told us. Apparently it’s common when you watch the love of your life die. You start to get worried if you can’t see them because the worst-case scenarios run through your head. 

**Eddie** \- It can also happen when you die in the love of your life’s arms. 

**Bev** \- That got dark. 

**Eddie** \- Just means that I have to be a sugar baby because work doesn’t work. 

**Bill** \- Did you just admit to being a sugar baby? 

**Eddie** \- Yeah. 

**Richie** \- Not just any old sugar babe, but my sugar baby. I can explain what he does to get the sugar if you want.

**Stan** \- Read the next thirst tweet. I want to go home. 

**Richie** \- @trashydenbrough writes _ If I could be tag teamed by the Losers club, I would, with no hesitation I would jump. I just wanna be fucked by the Losers. Let me live. _

**Mike** \- Okay. 

**Ben** \- Uh. 

**Bev** \- Fuck yeah. 

**Ben** \- Oh? 

**Richie** \- I like how you’re also asking for us to let you live. Like we get to decide or something, that’s fun. 

**Eddie** \- I’m going to admit that I don’t know what tag-team means? 

**Richie** \- Taking turns. 

**Eddie** \- Oh, ew, that is so unhygienic. 

**Richie** \- Oh my God, I love you. 

**Stan** \- I’m going to have to say no, sorry. I don’t think my wife would be too happy if I was involved with this. 

**Bill** \- Yeah, I don’t think Audra would be thrilled at the idea. 

**Ben** \- Not that I want to tell Bev what to do but I am not super willing to share. 

**Bev** \- You are literally the sweetest man in the world. I am so lucky to have you.

**Ben** \- I’m the lucky one. 

**Bev** \- Ladies, get yourself a man like Ben; don’t settle for pieces of shit. 

**Eddie** \- I have to agree with you there, Bev. 

[Richie and Ben are both visibly happy at the comments made]

**Eddie** \- I am also going to agree with you on the front that I don’t want to - ew - tag team. 

**Richie** \- While I love free-love I also love being the only man who has been with Eddie so I am going to have to say hard pass. Unless Eds is really interested, but seeing how he looks green at the idea. Sorry. 

**Mike** \- I do not have a partner so I am also going to say no simply because I don’t know your first name. 

**Offscreen** \- Okay, that’s enough. Thank you guys. 

**Bev** \- I’m Bev! 

**Ben** \- And I am Ben.

**Mike** \- Mike.

**Stan** \- Stanley. 

**Bill** \- Bill.

**Eddie** \- Eddie Tozier and

**Richie** \- Richie Kasbprak. 

**Bill** \- We’ve been the Losers club and we’ve answered your thirst tweets. 

**Stan** \- Shame on all of you. Bye! 

**Losers Club Whore @trashydenbrough**

Are you telling me the only reason I am not having sex with Mike Hanlon right now is because he doesn’t know my first name???


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, just for fun! 
> 
> Part 8 of this series is also up (Day in the life vlog) so you can go and read that to!

_20,013 Comments_ _Sort By_

_ Add a public comment  _

**Amy Ley** _1 day ago_

I am convinced they’re a cult. Watch my newest video to find out more. 

_ 14KLikes 10KDislikes  _

View 273 replies

**Julie B** _2 days ago_

No one: 

Richie: Yeah, I love Eddie. 

_ 12K Likes 2K Dislikes  _

View 47 replies

**Ana Keylele** _4 days ago_

Richie: speaks

Stan: interrupts 

_ 12kLikes 3kDislikes  _

View 32 replies

**Big Dick** _6 days ago_

So we all knew about the house but what Chinese restaurant did they destroy? And also, why? 

_ 11.4KLikes 2.9KDislikes  _

View 51 replies

**Megan Gold** _1 day ago_

Eddie really gets to hug Beverly Marsh huh? Wish that was me. 

_ 11KLikes 5KDislikes  _

View 74 replies

**Achilles Horse** _1 day ago_

The Losers: A little uncomfortable but doing alright

Richie: Totally into this, very happy. Would do it again. 

_ 10.9KLikes 3kDislikes  _

View 13 replies

**Karen** _2 days ago_

I know for a fact there are worse ones out there simply because I have written worse ones.

_ 10.8KLikes 5.3KDislikes  _

View 108 replies

**Tom** _1 day ago_

What’s a second murder charge - Richie Tozier, reminding us that Richie has actually killed a man and we all just kind of Let it Go. 

_ 10.5KLikes 4KDislikes  _

View 49 replies

**Stan Fan** _4 days ago_

Why is no one talking about how HOT stan is???????

_ 10KLikes 3.5KDislikes  _

View 81 replies

**Ross** _5 days ago_

This is literally just the Losers talking about how hot the others are. 

Edit: This is not a hate comment. I love them for it 

_ 10KLikes 1KDislikes  _

View 23 replies

**Diana Duke** _1 day ago_

I can’t tell if Richie is hot or not

_ 9.9KLikes 3KDislikes  _

View 94 replies

**Brooke** _2 days ago_

No one: 

Literally no one:

Not even Jesus: 

Richie and Eddie: we’ve sucked each other's dicks

_ 9.8KLikes 3KDislikes  _

View 58 replies

**Chase** _2 days ago_

Everyone: having a laugh, joking around, good vibes

Richie and Eddie: yeah we have severe trauma from that time that Eddie died in Richie’s arms. 

Also Richie and Eddie: therefore Eddie is now a sugar baby

Everyone: continues having a laugh, joking around, good vibes

_ 9.3KLikes 5KDislikes  _

View 41 replies

**Cardi D** _6 days ago_

CEOs of friendships

_ 9KLikes 923Dislikes  _

View 59 replies

**The starbucks lady** _2 days ago_

Richie and Ben looked so proud when their partners said they were happy and that Richie/Ben are good partners. My heart really went - 

_ 9KLikes 832Dislikes  _

View 167 replies

**Daisy** _1 day ago_

Everyone: Bev’s like my sister!

Ben: We are not the same hoe

_ 8.5KLikes 1kDislikes  _

View 20 replies

**Lauren C** _3 days ago_

They joke around about only having each other as friends but like imagine having 8 close friends? CAn’t relate 

_ 8.4KLikes 1KDislikes  _

View 73 replies

**Star** _5 days ago_

Richie, Bill or Stan: speaks

Eddie: I will kill you

_ 8KLikes 1KDislikes  _

View 31 replies

**Bethany** _1 day ago_

Mike does look like he does soap commercials tho I-

_ 7KLikes 914Dislikes  _

View 96 replies

**James** _4 days ago_

No cap, I to would pay to watch Eddie. Please, Mr Tozier, don’t come for me

_ 6KLikes 1.3KDislikes  _

View 50 replies

**29** _1 day ago_

Stan: says ‘asterisk’ 12 times.

Me: I have no choice but to stan

_ 5.5KLikes 421Dislikes  _

View 49 replies

**Alex** _5 days ago_

Fuck. I have a crush on every single Loser. 

_ 5KLikes 1KDislikes  _

View 238 replies

**Author's Note:**

> [Playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2wzUwg4KMMH9v0ulMCuTex?si=-SHwjn0MQcOvQ4XaQRCqfA)
> 
> Time for a shameless self-promo! 
> 
> [My Reddie + It Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/edtozier89)  
> [My Writing Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fanfictionwriter101)  
> 


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